My eyes opened, it has been an uncanny dream, and I could feel a frown forming on my brow. The clock on the mantelpiece showed 3:38am. I sat upright and decided to meditate; my thoughts however chose to have me diving under Aussie seas chasing after my P.G.Wodehouse book. 'Blessed night', I cursed, falling back onto my bed.
I flashed back
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It had been but 2 months back since I was at the Vipassana retreat at Igatpuri. For the un-initiated, Vipassana is a meditation technique promoted by Goenka. This 10 day rigorous course teaches the mind to be alert and notice sensations which emit from the internal body.
Each emotion experienced, we emote a range of sensations-positive vibrations or negative such as pain and discomfort. Every iota of our body is continuously experiencing a sensation which is ever changing. This technique enables one to observe those sensations.
The 10 days of absolute disconnect helps, as does the Arya Maun(complete silence), but not as much as the vibrations of that place.
On the 6th day of my course for the first time I managed to feel complete sensations all over my body, the sensation of a high frequency vibration on every part.
It was also the last time I felt it.
'R' my buddy who sent me there explained it to me, 'You wanted it so much, that you concentrated on recurring the same feeling rather than on what you were actually experiencing.' The main aim of Vipassana is to be detached to all the sensations-good or bad. To acknowledge and to know--that whatever comes...goes.
I confess though once I have been back, it has gotten harder to concentrate.
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As I feLl back on my bed, I was beyond despair, beyond frustrated-I had simply given up. So I started again-and it came, slowly flowing over my entire skin, engulfing me with vibrations.
It was a blessed night indeed
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PS- R...owe you one too many
6 comments:
You seem to be converting into a nocturnal animal.. whether its awake till 2.30 am or getting up in the middle of the night to think of Vipasana to the Aussie seas..
I think life was given to us to enjoy the pains and the pleasures of the world.. To some its Vipasana..to other mortals it may be more basic stuff
Sometimes tingling can be felt without going through a 10 day session. You just need to touch the right nerve :P
Do I want to get away from the good/bad feeling?? I am not too sure. I think I will go with both instead be immune to them.
May you have many more such "blessed nights"
Hi, it does get tougher to carry on meditating after you return from a 10-day. The reason vary from lack of a environment we get at a Vipassana center, to plain weakness of will/ ease of frustration on our side.
I am glad that you are continuously trying and no matter what the sensations, you are trying to remain equanimous to them.
Do try to sit for group sittings and 1-day courses to supplment your daily sittings. Weekly group sittings and sunday 1-day course happen across bombay.
Also you and R should try to sit for meditation together. It will help regularise your sittings.
Metta and Regards
Anupam
Its a journey........10 days is good.........but feel that always...
Smiles :)
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