If Investment banks were Musicians

It isnt often I put up a link on my blog. But for all those finance yuppies-this is a must read!Even more hilarious for those who have worked in these organizations

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=10000039&sid=anPFr7olXfIA&refer=columnist_gilbert

(heres the link to the original site)

If Investment banks were Musicians-Mark Gilbert, Bloomberg

Investment banks have personalities that are reflected in how they go about their business and how their peers view them. Bands express their character traits through the music they make and the company they keep. What happens when you match banks with musicians?

1) Goldman Sachs = The Rolling Stones
Goldman Sachs Group Inc. occupies an odd position in the investment-banking pantheon. The world's No. 1 securities firm by market value is unloved by its peers and universally regarded as arrogant. Its prodigious appetite for hard work and its unrivaled profit-generating abilities arouse jealousy and admiration in equal measure.
Goldman could almost be U2. While its followers are devoted, it's still not quite cool to admit to loving the Irish band. The rock 'n' roll establishment struggles to cherish a band whose lead singer, Bono, rubs shoulders with presidents and popes as he campaigns against global poverty.U2, though, would never embrace Goldman's aim of being ``long-term greedy.'' So, step forward the Rolling Stones; no one ever accused Mick Jagger and Keith Richards of paying anything less than full attention to the bottom line.

2) Citigroup = Ozzy Osbourne
In ``Liar's Poker,'' Michael Lewis wrote that the key to being a successful trader at Salomon Brothers in the 1980s was a willingness to bite the ass off a bear every morning. Ozzy Osbourne would have fitted right in; around the same time he is reputed to have bitten the head off a dead bat thrown on stage after assuming it was a rubber toy.

Salomon is now part of Citigroup Inc.'s empire. Ozzy is now more famous for parading his family on a reality television show broadcast by MTV. Both Citigroup and Ozzy are growing old disgracefully; Citigroup's many and varied brushes with the authorities around the world make the bank worthy of an alliance with the former Black Sabbath singer.

3) Deutsche Bank = Fleetwood Mac
A lazy comparison would equate Deutsche Bank AG, Germany's only global bank, with Kraftwerk, Germany's only global band. Reliant on technology for success, secretive, Teutonic and somewhat emotionless, they have a lot in common.
A different list of attributes, though, suggests an alternative. Immensely profitable? Check. Years of infighting and not communicating with one another? Check. Badly in need of a style makeover? Check. It's Fleetwood Mac.

4) JPMorgan = Radiohead
JPMorgan Chase & Co. executives used to boast about the bank's roomful of 250 Ph.D.s, designing exotic derivatives strategies and proprietary mathematical models to tickle the wackier wedges of the world's financial markets for profit. Too clever by half, and needing another big hit to remain relevant? It could almost be REM. Radiohead edges it.

5) Barclays Capital = Oasis
The capital-markets division of Barclays Plc could be the Red Hot Chili Peppers; chaotic in the 1990s, gained some focus in the early years of this decade, now looking a bit bloated and self-indulgent. Or Barclays Capital could be Keane, since both rose without a trace and are seemingly missing a key component, with Barclays surviving without an equity business and Keane bashing out pop music without the aid of guitars.
Oasis is a better fit. Snarling insolence failed to break the U.S. market and, while past its peak, the band is still capable of flashes of brilliance. Moreover, it probably has twice as many employees as needed. I just can't work out which Gallagher brother, Noel or Liam, is Barclays Plc President Bob Diamond.

6) Morgan Stanley = Coldplay
Deadly earnest. Blue-blooded. Well-heeled. Regularly at the top of the charts, though even fans have the nagging sense they might just be going through the motions. Morgan Stanley and Coldplay are made for each other.

7) Merrill Lynch = Madonna
Both Merrill Lynch & Co. and Madonna peaked in the 1980s and have been irrelevant since the 1990s, notwithstanding umpteen attempts at reinvention. A willingness to jump on any passing bandwagon keeps David Bowie fresh; it leaves both Merrill and Madonna looking a bit like Whitney (Houston) dressed as Britney (Spears).

8) HSBC = any boyband
Guns N' Roses has been poised to release ``Chinese Democracy'' for a decade. While some tracks have been performed live or been leaked in rough form, the album itself still isn't available. HSBC Holdings Plc has been poised to use its platform in Asian investment banking as the springboard to become a fully fledged global investment bank for at least as long.
HSBC, though, could be any manufactured boyband. The true performers earn peanuts, while the management reaps the financial rewards. And, if there is a genius Robbie Williams lurking in the line-up, there's too much dead wood for the talent to shine through.

9) UBS = Phil Collins
The bank and the former Genesis drummer/singer are both rich, both based in Switzerland, and no one with any sense gives a hoot about either. Medallion men with year-round tans and chunky gold watches bank with UBS AG, and rate ``In the Air Tonight'' as their favorite track of all time.

10) Commerzbank = David Hasselhoff
Both Commerzbank AG and David Hasselhoff, the singing star of Knight Rider and Baywatch, are huge in Germany. Scientists have failed to explain why.

Waiting for the Rain

This is dedicated to you both,
I woke up this morning because the sun was glaring into my face, I had to squint to see the time on the clock-it was still good 10 minutes before my usual alarm time but I decided to get out of bed anyways. I was arranging my purse and threw my umbrella on my bed-no point in carrying around weight especially when I can see(or rather cant see) the sun shining its brightest. I forgot my wise old words 'acute sunshine means heavy rains', and that is exactly what happened by early evening.

As I was visiting another branch I made my way through the malls and subways, I was on the roadside and I could see the lightning and watch the dark clouds water the streets of Singapore. But when I looked at the roads and the people-they were so nonchalant, like there was no spirit.

I shut my eyes, in that second I was transported:I was back in Bombay, and it had begun to pour, I remember people running towards shelter-in shops, under bus stops, even under a tree, and then there was us-we ran out of our homes to embrace the rain.
The first natural step was to call each other and meet near the sea-side, after which we would take a long walk drenching ourselves entirely. Then we would run to a café coffee day or barista, we frequented the bandstand one the most I believe. There we would sit and watch the white surf rise high and crash against the promenade, as we sipped hot chocolate mocha.

Over lots of gossip, chats and even more laughter-time would slip away. Even the clouds were tired, and the rain would subside leaving behind a cool breeze. It was time to return to our respective homes, to dry ourselves-until another day when the rain gods beckoned us again.

I opened my eyes and I had a smile across my lips.
Because some moments in life can be taken and frozen for eternity.
----------------------------------
The rains should soon reach Bbay, miss you guys and the rains.

I’m Racist….So?

The word racists brings out sneers and aghast looks from most of the human race around me, but most of us don’t realise we are, in our own little way-a racist.

Living in India, I never delved too much on the subject, Gandhi faced it, so did Martin Luther King; did I honestly care? Not really. The only two times you think of it seriously, one if you are facing it and two if you are a racist yourself.

Coming to a different place, ensures that men envision their own land and fellow country men quite differently. I always thought Indians were intelligent, now I believe we’re a superior race as far as intellect is concerned. If there is a derivative problem to be solved and an Indian and Chinese come up with two different answers, I’d take the Indians-blindly. Don’t get me wrong the Chinese have a brilliant methodical brain, but I’m biased to the South Indian calculation skill set.

In a packed train, I’m seated and my station is about to arrive-who will be the lucky one to get my seat? you guessed right-the Indian. (barring the fact if there are elderly, or pregnant women-I’m human first). It doesn’t matter that the Indian has come back from an hour long of shopping and the other women are making their way home after a hard day of work.
The person I relate to most at work is a Pakistani, because he speaks the same language, he understands and appreciates shayari’s, he can share my kheer with me. When I get mithai’s I share it with only a few people-who said that the other communities will not enjoy Indian sweets, its just an assumption, but I don’t bother to find out, do I ?
Aren’t we racist within India as well? Gujuratis favour their own caste more ditto for Maharashtrians.

Sub-consciously the fact that we relate to a certain sect of people does play on our mind and affect our behaviour towards people. I belong to that section of people(which I believe is all humans)who connect with the like mindedness. Racist, I am indeed.

Welcome to Singapura Lah

Your 30 and thriving, but cant own a car, and you will need to summon the cab 20 minutes prior at least (yeah even I though of yehyeh and naser bhai)
You will find that you are a millionaire but cant own a car:
That is because you need a no objection/ eligibility certificate to buy a car. The government gives out a few every period-so you bid, the highest bidder gets the certificate aka gateway to the car. Its like an open bribery system!
Imagine if it were there in India or Dubai for that matter- it would cause bloodshed!

In my food court you will get:
Chicken feet
beef organs
lamb brain
u-mein (just be happy you don’t know what that is)
Baa-U-Mein ( be overjoyed you don’t know what that is)
Don’t worry all ye vegetarians, they serve plain sprouts!!
(For all those that made a gross face while reading it, I have to watch it being eaten!)

I was walking on the MRT aka train station, and they began announcements- mandarin, malay, some chinky language, another chinky language, and the next one perked my head up- it was Tamil! Not that I understood a word but who cares I had never been so happy to hear tamil ever before as I did that day.

Everyday you will see immacuately dressed mannequins, they all have straight hair, fabulously dressed, n well chinky eyes(obviously). I cant make one out from the other, but yeah they sure do dress amazingly!

For those that are wondering whats ‘lah’ its like lah u know they say lah after every 3 or 4 words lah. But you cant say lah short and sweet lah you need to make it loud n screechy laaahhhhhh.

That’s it. Im coming home