Jai Ganesh Deva

Ganesh-one of the most celebrated festivals in Bombay.

I remember Ganpati as a vivacious festival, 10 days of songs on loud speakers, loads of traffic, and people swarming around the idols.
Our mandir kept a huge idol every year, the slum dwellers had one at the end of my lane, so did my friend Bhavna's building,which I visited every year. My nani, who stays at Sukh Sagar had the most prominent location to watch all the large ganpatis immerse into the sea from Chowpatty beach. That road is alive, even at 4 am, and since the whole event is covered by IN tv, invariably I could see my nani,at her balcony-giving water and sweets to passerby's .

When I think of Ganpati-I cannot not think of Siddhi Vinayak, my early morning walks with Dela, from Bandra to Siddhi. Going for the aarti, to pray and then whispering into the mouse's ear.To top it all, we even walked back home, just to get the feeling-of complete contentment. The best part of Siddhi is the vibes I feel when I am there-the calm feeling completely encompasses me.

When I came to Dubai, I never thought Id celebrate Ganesh, but my batchmates managed to get a beautiful Ganesh idol! We had kept it at one of our villas-and every early morning before college and night 11 pm aarti was done. We outsourced the immersion part, because if you're caught in Dubai then the fine is dhms 5000.

Last night was the final pooja, we sang bhajans-Jai Ganesh Deva etc and some of my friends(Dharmesh and Chinmay) recited the athrava shastra mantra. As the vibes emitted, the whole place reverberated with positivity and togetherness.

As ever,I cannot explain it-ithe feeling was beyond beautiful. It was spiritual.

My Favorite Drink

It all started wayy before...when i was a kid. I tasted it-and gave up everything else.My mom had to beg me to have milk.I stood there resolute, nothing...nothing besides that.
I would choose it over every cold drink available.

8 year old lil p at a birthday party:
"Would you like to have some nice thanda pepsi beta?"
"Aunty could I have some Chai instead"
"Erm............."
(I think most of you can picture that face)

In school it started with 2 cups a day.
In college it moved on to around 3 cups a day(cutting chai 1/2 glass-Rs.2, full glass-Rs.3)n the days I was feeling rich-tea centre.
Morgan Stanley days it increased to 4-5 cups a day (Thanks to a tea machine and Mannu,our pantry boy)
Sp Jain, MBA days it has exponentially increased -7 odd cups a day,for very apparent reasons

Everyone knows me for my tea drinking habits, my buddies who are making tea for themselves, blindly make tea for me too. My buddies mother's who are making tea, blindly go ahead and make tea for me too.

Chai--defies the mariginal utility theory,beats a high beta stock,epitomizes inelastic demand,and has the highest NPV ever.(MBA gyaan....Non-MBA's forgive me)

For now enough of this blog...until then I think i'll go n have another cup of tea.

Full House

And what a full house it is-I live in a villa with 13 other women (yes to a lot that might sound fun), a spider (do I see people backing out), occasional beetle (ummm), and regular few lizards(hey wheres everybody gone?)

Well yeah - we all seem to live here and together, each one fighting for ones space and rights. It all started with the lizard in Rashis bathroom-tiny little thing-maybe as large as my little finger however commanded the attention of everyone, putting all of us upright and at attention.
After lots of water splashes and bagon-the lizard finally disappeared down the gutter, where it probably resides till date.

The next incident brought about the call of the spider.A few yells brought many a girls running up to the first floor and all of us surrounded one (ahem yes one) spider ready for an attack. It also got Ms ruia up who walked in claiming that she was unafraid of spiders, however one look at the size she was in the bedroom on the bed!
On the other side was Shilpa, who doesnt believe in killing any life form(ditto for neha jain) and there was aditi who woke up from her sleep n demands to know whats happening, the answer came promptly and so did the reply ' kill the f**kin thing'. Shilpa was in complete despair by then "theyre gonna kill you" she wailed. The supreme bagon came in hand again n the spider shrivelled up into a...well just shrivelled up.

One night in all sincerity Bhagya came into my room ' Purnima, we need your help'. I walked down the stairs all my finance concepts stirring my brains-only to find a huge lizard sitting on bhagyas bag. Bhagya very palpably pointed at the problem. It took a broom and a plastic bag to get it out of our house, with absolutely no help from my roomie Mega-who kept screaming everytime the lizard moved its tail!

Outside a villa I saw definately the biggest black cockroach like looking insect ive ever seen. My eyes popped out more than they have for large size diamonds. Sid did a little jig-a-ma-dig---jump skip n squash. Lets not describe that-it was pretty gross.

Last evening Aditi woke up with a swollen lip that would put angelina jolie to shame. Hanuman re-incarnated. The cause-an insect bite.Insect had to be a guy for the strategic location of the bite. Verdict-dunno where the insect is, the hunt for it still continues.

Intellectual Stimulation

Its been long since ive had an intellectual stimulating talk. the mind seems to be a barren land post my mba course. That which was supposed to churn my potential and make my mind run, has lead it to an uncertain standstill.

Distance has terminated the ability to converse for hours lest the mind is always on the phone bill. Its been long since ive argued, debated on a topic- not even thought about it and the vociferous nature that tends to take over me is buried. Now im sober, in a coma-where the heart only ticks, n the mind only works to routine.

Where is the me, that read books for 2 hours daily, followed the markets, knew the news?
Where is the me that rebelled against decree and was pro the iconoclasts?
Where is the me, that debated on anything and learnt from everything?

Then came to my rescue,my villa buddy we chatted over-philosophies, theories, books, people-till 2 in the morning.
I hardly slept, and I slept as I never slept before.

It was a breath of fresh air
And I felt my mind stir.

My 23rd birthday

This blog has come about because my buddy Sid tells m I must pen down everything that happened on my 23rd birthday, cause later in life im gonna look back in life-and laugh.sigh.nostalgia.

I started celebrating on 3rd night-went for this cruise cum dinner around dubai creek with my folks. There's something very quixotic a cruise,maybe it has all the ingredients-the boundaryless sea flanked by the well lit soaring skyscrapers, the enigmatic night and the candle light reflecting in my eye.

I got back at 11:15-and simply crashed,managed to get up by 11:45(after all what are friends for) at 12 was the one of the nicest 12 o clock's ive ever spent!!! It was definately the largest number of friends i had over!Imagine 45 people in your villa, 2 birthday cakes(thnx-Dush n Ritika), cake smashed on your face, you wash up-n cake is smashed on your face again(courtesy sid)

The next day bought birthday cards from back home, gifts-a much needed perfume(though danny thinks my choice is old fashioned) clothes(which girl will ever say I have too many..) and a Garfield (ive been searching a garfield since so many years-n i never found one with a face tht i like,n i got the mostest perfect one!)

The latter half of the day was spent trying to understand finance-first the questions and then my answers of the exam.After which we 'attempted' to go partying-but all the discs were shut due to the death of King Fahd(Saudi Arabian King for the ignorant)so we ended by at Hard Rock Cafe..2 coronas down..it wast the first time I had the beer-n i quite liked it I must say!

All in all nothing went right--all in all everything was perfect......cause i had the one thing I wanted the most --all my friends!

To...you

To....you

We met by pure chance due to choice of education, I never bothered to know u nor u know me. We started chatting,for hours – n I sought u as a intellectual sort of entertainment,yet both involved in our lives more serious sides.
You left india- I didn’t care, didn’t bother to meet, didn’t bother to call- you would always be online, so would I n what difference would it make where in the world your computer screen was. You returned- I yet couldn’t have been bothered.
Ironically me leaving the country and you in another brought us more closer, late night calls(you have always made me stay up late)
I never sought you as a lover, n yet I wouldn’t say you’re a close friend cause you have not really been around me. Yet you know me, and I know you--in an odd way.
I don’t desire you as anything more than we are today,but what I share with you I don’t share with anyone else.

It is unconditional.
It is perfect.........

And it rained...

Fever,sore throat,cough,shivering,head throb-625 power antibiotics thrice a day.Thats what happened in the last 3 days, apparently due to the extreme increase in temperature.
All I wanted to do was - get home.

I had great pride(n yeah i was proud about it) that I had managed not to cry at all after getting to Dubai, no homesick bouts, no tears. And then I fell ill, all I wanted was my mother sitting besides me, dad patting my head--the psychologic relief that I am encompassed in love.
Reality was different-6 hour lectures continued, merely 5 hours of sleep continued, 3 hours of assignments & studying continued-n mainly the loneliness continued.
I wouldnt say my friends were not affectionate and didnt take care of me, but the value of someone pressing your head at 1 am when its hurting has increased exponentially.

Rather than my parents coming down here, I wanted to go back to Bombay.Called them and said im coming back for a few days. Over a lot of discussion and more head throbs-they said I should come down if i felt like.Over more head throbs I realised my parents wanted to come to dubai,it would make them happier.

And so as the story goes, I chucked my plans of going back to my city. As I stood on my balcony watching the desert, I thought of what I was giving up--my room,my comfort zone, my solace, my family,familiar view of the sea,the city warmth.
The tear rolled down my cheek....and it rained.

Broken Jinx

In the last few days Ive had so much to write with so much on my mind-n yet my blog remains blank...the cause behind it all 'the blogging jinx'- incarcerated my hands,uncultivative mind,n the system.

It all started with me not remembering my blogger user name, hell i remembered my password...i memorized it, wrote it in 3 places-but I didnot write the damn username. Tried all conocations of my name,numbers,nicknames,psyedonames-you name it i tried it..n after 2 weeks of hard research I was successful.

I logged in, so did the firewall. For murphy to be unforgettable his theories rose with him from the dead and continue to be eternal--for some strange reason my blogger was blocked.However who shall stopeth the heroine to reach for her scepter? and eventually the wall was broken down.

My previous article 'the blogging bond' I started to write it about 2 weeks back-but whilst my fingers merrily pranced around the keyboard my buddy danmnation decided to poke his head in-now something i detest is someone to read my blog before its published (high secret kinds) n so it got left out until its b-day(blog day i.e.)

The next draft was about opinions. How I hate people who are overly opinionated and how i hate those who have no opinions even more.I mean you cant be on this earth and be indifferent to everything right?It all got inspired by my prof-who insisted that replying to a fan letter has to be relatively formal and sending out a recruitment promotion letter could be casual cause the world is moving that way. sigh.My inspiration was in the process of being penned when ms business casual asked me to slam my laptop shut.
Opinions are like arseholes everyone has one.

But I the rebel shall not stop
My fingers play around the bend
Better publish this post now
And bring this jinx to an end

Blogging Bond

The first conversation---is what gets two people together or seperates them.Whats the one thing that brings people together? Common interests-same taste in music, we both love to swim,love to party,like reading the same books...n this list could go on.

Like when I observe smokers.Youre standing alone in the corner-smoking your usual lights.He's there too in another corner, both oblivious to each other as if both are alone in the dark alley.The next day its the same except you are aware of his presence maybe noticed the brand he smokes.Then comes the acknowledgment sign-the nod, which indicates 'you exist'.It moves on to asking for a match someday and then moves on to casual conversation.He knows what you feel as the smoke is inhaled,the inherrent need for the feel of the cigarette between ones lips. Netx time round -you plan your smoke time together.The bond is formed-Smoking buddies voila.

Scenario: carter road-sea side promenade, a little green patch dedicated mainly for dog owners, dog lovers and a lil for the dogs. My dog plays with your dog, n I chat with you-seems one of those made in heaven decisions.....assuming ofcourse the two breeds of dogs , and the two human breeds are compatible.I dont deny the ugly scenes, n then there are many lovers, friends etc who have met that way.Pet bonding....they bond-we bond.

But a new genre of bonding has arisen, i call it the 'blogging bond'. " hey you blog too? me too, whats ure link?" n it has begun-my blogging bond with the person-provided the blog appeals to me ofcourse,there is no dearth of weirdos here. Through the medium I have known what people are upto, what people think and even how they think.Not to mention all the comments that come about, and it happens to be a great starting line.

Known by the lines they wrote
Words merge into a song
A click connection un-named
Bitten by the blogging bond

Rocked da City

High-is what i feel when the dj plays good music.
High -is what i feel when a live band does a perfect version of rock artists i like.
High-is what i feel when drinks are on the house.
High-is what i feel when i dance all night.

I just went high,higher n higher...did all of those in one night!
it started with just 4 of us going partying-eventually it turned out to be 17 ppl(they came in late cuz they had forgotten their Id's-thang god for piyush for reminding me to take mine!)Sunday night-Jimmi Dix,Dubai--turned out to be free entry for girls n to top it all free drinks for all women till 1.The band did a lot of my favorite rock numbers n the dj simple played music which i could dance to all night.For a change there was zero hindi music...which was quite a refreshing change.

Also the first night I saw a sophisticated hooker.typical situation-old,fat balding man;old but mind blowing body,super short dress girl.buys her a drink.neotiate.leave.

I really think im up for one of those all night long parties-11pm-3:30am on my feet dancing, energy only seemed to increase through the night,i think i only left cause the dj said last song for the night.
But the night had to end just like everything else always does, got home by 4...felt deliriously happy after really long.

High-is what i feel while driving home,dark night,bright streets,at 140kmph.

Mehsalamah

I write from the land of sand-dubai...though frankly theres hardly any sand here. I really love it as a city-tall buildings,vibrant,great roads,zipping cars-life, life n more life.
yet-it feels like home....i find an indian person on every corner,indian restaurant-samosas,wada pav,bhel the works--frankly im relieved.

to make a new city your home
to make strangers your friends
to share with your colleagues your college and room
to define responsibility as washing your clothes n vessels
where independence means when your sick theres noone-but you
to explore-a new place, new risks.
where adjustment is a part of life not an option
where learning is natural
where life is freedom, n freedom is life.


PS-Waiting to spot a camel yet

Hasta Leugo

It finally hits me...I am to leave this city in 7 days, leave the place where i was born, where i have grown up, where i have lived.
I will miss the sea-side, which i have haunted for many hours... marine drive, carters, bandstand.
I will miss this city's vivacious life-travelling by ricks at unearthly hours-unafraid, being stuck in a traffic jam at 1am.
The rains-getting entirely drenched, and topping it with masala chai.
My friends n family-my support n backbone, for everytime i have been sad they are there to lift me up, n everytime i have been happy..i need to share my happiness with them.
The trains-packed to treble of its capacity, n yet the joy n freedom i feel while hanging and the wind blowing.
I will miss the easy life i lead here-cup of ready tea in the morning, never having to think about my next meal,my banyawala which delivers instantly, ditto for the chemist n general store.
My room-my comfort zone...no longer will i stare at these blue walls,in which i have found so much peace,found my space--found myself

....n yet i go to discover life beyond these seas but not without a tribute to this city, my city--to the Spirit of Bombay, may your spirit last forever.

Que sara sara when i grow up what will I be?

I visited my dentist again this morning..n as she put the drill into my mouth i began to wonder what ever possessess people to become a dentist?Like why would someone wake up one morning and feel i want to straighten all the crooked teeth of the world or my purpose of life is that everyone has a white perfect smile??
Ofcourse after 7 sittings and the 8000 bucks that ive paid- I finally begin to see the joy in setting those pearly white teeth.

I have my doubts on consultants too (though it is extremely likely i become one myself!). A consultant seems to be the guy who takes off my wrist watch n tells me the time.I dont see why i need someone to see how i run my company n change it-i mean if ure tht good-u might as well be the CEO right?

A great part of my life Ive debated between C.A and an MBA. Even though im about to start my MBA this june I have to admit I find C.A far more practical people:
A CA and an MBA are camping together. When they go to sleep, the CA says, 'Tell me what you can see when you're looking up?''Thousands of stars,' says MBA.'And what's your conclusion from all this?MBA starts to think, 'If I consider it from astrological aspects,' he says slowly, 'I must assume that there are millions and millions of stars and galaxies in the universe. From psychological points of view I conclude that we're so infinitely small in comparison with God's overall creation. And if meteorology is concerned, I would say that we can expect fine weather tomorrow. What's your opinion?
To which the CA replies "I believe our tent has been stolen."

Well who knows where life will take me -in ppl's mouths,balance sheets,pockets-choices are unlimited.maybe ill be just like the herd ..n then maybe ill start my own bookstore :)

the un-doable yoga

I have started yoga practises,today my yoga sir decided to show me kriyas.
It started with him filling an aladdin lamp looking kettle with water, on tilting his head-he poured the water into one nostril and it poured out thru the other nostril,was quite a feat.

Next he took a rubber tube and put it into nostril, and removed it from his mouth,then he took the other end of the tube put it through his other nostril and got it out of other nostril. I was enthralled-just sat staring-felt as if i was watching a magic show.

The next one-he took a much larger tube and put it into this mouth, down his throat right uptil his stomach 4 feet long!then he sucked in some water and brought it out again(supposed to solve all acidity problems)

by now my bile had risen. the horrific part isnt what i only saw, the fact that i had to repeat the first 2 actions!
well i managed the first one quite easily infact-funny to have water running thru ure nose like a tap though lolll, n the second one turned out to be impossible!

The magic show ended though...till i learn another trick

Joy and Sorrow

The one that can feel utmost pain can experience utmost joy.
Intensity of an emotion depends on a persons capacity to let himself feel and experience the emotion, the larger the capacity -the more the intensity. Imagine the heart to be a bowl...the larger the bowl the more joy and sorrow can be filled into it.

Happiness and sorrow are but relative concepts; would we bless the wind if the sun didnot scorch? would we value laughter if we but perpetually smiled? would take care of our body if we were always fit? would we listen to our soul if it didnot cry out through an aching heart?

As Khalil Gibran quotes in his book The Prophet
"your joy is your sorrow unmasked.And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.Joy and Sorrow are inseperable-when one sits with you at your board,remember the other is asleep upon your bed.The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,the more joy you will contain."

Intellectual v/s Intelligent

Websters dictionary:
Intelligence: having high or satisfactory degree of mental capacity. reflecting good judgment.
Intellectual:the capacity for knowledge/the capacity for rational thought.

Though these two words are often used synonymously, I have tried to delve into the fine line that seperates them at a higher level .

I can claim to be intellectual if i attain the heights of knowledge, but intelligence is beyond attaining- it is being aware.
For eg I knew an academically brilliant girl, got all 5 calls from IIM n convereted 4 out of the 5 (B,C,L,K). However she chose K over all of them, even though K ranks lower than the rest--the reason being, she got the offer letter from them first.Sigh. inspite of all the academic brilliance, the intellect n hard work-a sheer case of lack of awareness.
When i look at her I see so much potential and yet i see nothing.

To end with Osho's thoughts on the topic-
"Intellectuality is mechanical. You can become a great scholar, a great professor, a great philosopher, just playing with words which are all borrowed, arranging and rearranging thoughts, none of which are your own.
Intellect has nothing of its own, all is borrowed. Intelligence has its own eyesight.
And that´s the difference between intelligence and intellect. "

Untitled

I shall live for myself
Unaffected by the unaffectionate
Indifferent to extreme joy
Untouched by extreme pain
To learn from all, but learn for nothing
To value all, but cherish nothing
To have nothing, but to accept the all.

-2002

Ive learnt...

I’ve learnt…

Ive come to understand that most people are neither for you nor against you: they are just thinking about themselves.
You learn that no matter how hard you try to please, some people in this world are not going to love you. At first its troubling; then its relaxing.

It is going to take a long time to be the person whom I want to be and I am the only person that can use my ability.

Be yourself. most people are other people. The world has had enough of them.

When you point your finger at a person, your pointing 4 fingers back at yourself.
When you are angry –you are only self destructive. Life is all about controlling ones mind

Be honest-even though pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple

Forgive: no one is perfect, you could lose out on a good friend if u don’t, but importantly always forgive your enemies -- nothing will annoy them as much

Be a realist. A optimist and pessimist both who, when have the choice of two evils, chooses both.

Water thicker than blood

It disgusts me that even education has not improved the mind of most of the people binded by rituals, cast n religion in our country.

I was visiting the house of a colleague whoose father had recently expired, the funeral rites had to be completed--as there being only daughters, the agni(lighting the fire to the body) had to be done by any of the cousin brothers. Some ridiculous norm being that the brother can ask anything of the family since he his being 'honourable' enough to do the last rites.
The cousin brothers had the audacity, not one but all of them present- they demanded the house, the shop they owned, or the diamond business!!

There seems to be just no respect- i must say my blood boiled-literally!I would have surely kicked them out of my house, I am glad to say that is exactly what they got.Frankly though they deserve to be shot.

Dusts of mercenary clouds thy mind
Begin to worship it as a divine
Only at lifes shattering end
Eyes of truth rise, it wont defend
Hell's glare, the blinding light
Welcome to darkness,forever night

High Fidelity

"Hi, drinking luncheon, on a school day? Are you nervous about tomm night?"

"Not really no"

"Umm are you gonna tak to me-or shall I get my paper out"

"No im gonna talk to you, what are you gonna talk to me about"

"Umm im gonna talk to you about whether or not you want to get married to me.Im serious"

"Yeah I know, well thanks a fucking bunch"

"Im sorry but two days ago you were making tapes for that girl –from the Reader"

"Yeah"

"Well forgive me if I don’t think of you as the world’s safest bet. "

“Would you marry me if I was?”

“What brought all this on?”

“I don’t know. I’m just sick of thinking about it all the time”

“About what?”

“This stuff. Love and… settling down and marriage, you know? I want to think about something else”

“I changed my mind. That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. I do. I will.”

“Just shut up please, I’m trying to explain, okay? That other girl, or other women, --whatever -- I mean, I was thinking that they’re just fantasies. You know? And they always seem really great because there’s never any problems. And if there are, they’re cute problems like, you know, we bought each other the same Christmas present or she wants to go to see a movie that I’ve already seen, you know? And then I come home and you and I have real problems and you don’t even want to see the movie I want to see, period. There’s no lingerie and --”

“I have lingerie”

“Yes, you do. You have great lingerie. But you also have cotton underwear that’s been washed a thousand times, and it’s hanging on the thing and they have it too. It’s just I don’t have to see it because it’s not in the fantasy. Do you understand? I’m tired of the fantasy because if doesn’t really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really --”

“Delivers?”

“Delivers. Right, I‘m tired of it. I‘m tired of everything else for that matter. But I don‘t ever seem to get tired of you. So--”

“I think I know what you mean. But were you really expecting me to say yes?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t really think about it, really. I thought asking was the important part.”

Well you’ve asked. Thank You.


From the film High Fidelity-its hilarious....but maybe-its just what im looking for